Hello My Name Is Loser

Disclaimer: the following may seem like it’s coming from a 13-year-old cause apparently that’s the age level of my social development.

I suck, I suck, I suck, I suck!!!

I’m an intelligent, educated person with varied interests and a moderate sense of humor. I can hold good conversations and enjoy activities both little and small. And while I’m not Gisele I’m not the Elephant Man either. There is absolutely no reason why I shouldn’t have the confidence to go up to someone I’m attracted to and at least fucking say “hello.”

In the ongoing pathetic saga of my infatuation with that guy I have had the misfortune to only work with 3 TIMES(!), this week has been filled with turmoil and crap. Wednesday. Wednesday was the day I was supposed to run into him after not having seen him since May. The plan was to strike up a brief conversation and I had even gone armed with ammo from the stories that came out of Tuesday night’s fiasco at the theater which I know he was there for. And I looked good (for me) on Wednesday. I actually looked like a girl. I wore my painful shoes and all of that. And was he even there? NO!

So fine, I can live with that. I need to get over this whole thing anyway. A) he’s probably gay and B) if he isn’t gay, he’s probably dating one of the other 6 girls from the theater that he works with way more than me. Yes, I do think in silly sitcom cliches. You know, never mind that he’s one of the few people I’ve met as an adult that I felt an instant connection to. Never mind that he’s basically my exact type except that he doesn’t wear glasses and he’s going bald (it’s like really bad). And of course in my warped mind I feel like if we only had the chance to work together more we could at least turn out to be good friends.

Back to the story.

Because I was dressed up on Wednesday, the past two days I haven’t put a lot of effort in to my wardrobe as my office doesn’t care. I’ve been all jeans and messy hair. This morning, I decide to go one stop past my normal exit on the red line to do a slightly shorter walk to the office as I’m in the middle of a wonderful book, I wanted the extra 2 minutes to read. Get out, go to Dunkin Donuts and guess who is there! He’s in the “Beverage Only” line and I have to get a bagel with my coffee so I get in the other line. He doesn’t have his iPod on or anything. I eventually end up standing right behind him.  AND DO I SAY ANYTHING?

Of course I don’t. I actually go out of my way to be unobservant and blend into the background. I’m the most socially inept person I’ve ever met – though I haven’t met many people because I’m so effing socially inept. I used to think that I’m just a shy person but now I think there is more to it than that. And because of this, I’m going to grow into an old spinster that knows a lot about TV shows and vampires and has absolutely nothing to show for any kind of companionship…EVER!

God, in reading this over I come off as so pathetic and such a big loser. Somewhere in my growing up, the whole part about conversing with the opposite sex completely passed me by. Was it because a tragedy of huge proportions happened right as I was becoming a teenager? Is it because I have daddy issues?

Or is it because I just plain SUCK! Seriously, why are some of you even friends with me. I obviously have no business being out in society.

End rant. Happy Friday.

The World Series: Well, at least it’s over now.

Do NOT misunderstand me. I am a New York Mets fan. Period.

But since my team didn’t do so well this year (understatement of the decade), I had to make a choice: root for someone in the MLB postseason or stop caring about baseball until next year. As I’m still trying to learn as much as I can about the game, I went with option #1 which meant…rooting for the New York Yankees.

I have my reasons.

1. As much as I don’t like the Yankees, being the snobs from the same town as the Mets, I really hate the Red Sox and it now goes so far beyond just being annoyed at T traffic during the season. In sports, you don’t have to have rational explanations for rooting for or against a team. I knew it would annoy Red Sox fans here if the Yankees won.
2. And as much as I don’t like the Yankees with all their A-Rod crap, come on. I was not going to root for the Philadelphia Phillies! They are in the Mets division, won last year, and are just a bunch of punks that complain about the game, their opponents and even their own season. See comments made by a certain Phillies pitcher about wanting his season to be over. If they won two years in a row, they’d be just completely insufferable next year.

So yeah, World Series over. 2009 season done and in the books. It is SO time to move on. The Mets can continue to get healthy, maybe add (perhaps subtract) a few things and a year from now, this post will be all about the other New York baseball team that won the World Series.

Sleep tight David Wright.

“I just wanna live while I’m alive”

Wednesday thoughts:

• Can you be obsessed with a CD less than 24 hours after getting it? The Glee soundtrack is so awesome it makes me want to cry to have to wait until next Wednesday for a new episode. I added to the album by getting the “It’s My Life”/”My Confessions” mashup and the “Halo”/”Walking on Sunshine” mashup on iTunes. I wish they had put even more of the songs on the CD like the Thong Song and I Could’ve Danced All Night or even Leaving on a Jet Plane (or whatever that song is called. Not enough M. Morrisson goodness.
• Fall in New England is especially brilliant this year. There is a tree on Mass Ave in Arlington that is bright blood red. When the sun hits it, you need sunglasses. Boston is a very pretty place right now.
• Going to see Fiddler on the Roof tonight at the Opera House with friend of blog Dori. Should be fun. I’ve only ever seen the movie but I really enjoyed that. Downside is that the show is close to 3 hours long. Trying not to think about that part.
• How I Met Your Mother was pretty funny on Monday, though even I was getting a bit sick watching cutesy Barney and Robin. I’m glad they are giving Marshall and Lily more to do this year.
• The Big Bang Theory: football and geeks? This show gets more and more perfect with every episode. Loved the jersey cocktail dress on Leonard and that Sheldon knows about football. I also very much appreciated that Leonard was taking notes on the sport by watching New England. Oh and the Battlestar toast was awesome.
• Am behind on every other show and it’s very sad. I am starting to catch up on Vampire Diaries. I forgot how much I enjoy this show and it’s just getting better and better. Don’t spoil me, I still have like 4 to watch.
• Speaking of vampires, I’m reading The Historian by Elizabeth Kostova. I’m only 150 pages in but so far it’s about all these historians trying to find the truth about the Dracula legend. Very enjoyable and well written, especially if you are interested in historical fiction. It’s also nice after reading and watching so many benign vampire stories to read one that is actually frightening and makes the vampires actually evil instead of romantic and misunderstood…so far anyway. I may have to read Bram Stoker’s Dracula after this. I don’t think I even know that story.
• Work has been so crazy busy with close and large projects. It feels good to have a lot to do but so far this week I’ve been working above my normal hours which is sad because I do that overtime in the morning when no one sees it and I don’t get paid for it so other than having extra time to do my work, I’m getting no credit for it. Maybe I should casually let it slip.
• I really need to stop my imagination going wild. It’s gonna get me into trouble, sooner than you may think.
• Saw graffiti on the T this morning: “Thank God for California’s Prop 8. Next MA.” Also saw that Maine voters reversed the gay marriage law up there. What else can I even say about this?
• 2 and a half weeks until Thanksgiving – well my Thanksgiving break anyway. I’m so mixed about it. I can’t wait to have a week off of work and I’m excited to see my father and stepmother but I’m also, uh, not. Oh well.
• 2 straight weeks I’ve been brushing and flossing morning and night like a pro. I’ve been really good about it since my dentist yelled at me. This better make a noticeable difference next time he sees me cause it’s taking up a lot more time.

Ok, I suppose I should get started on work. Have a good one!

Last thought. This picture makes me really happy. Two of my TV boyfriends all gussied up. Ignore the girl.

“V” – Initial Thoughts

Very quick thoughts after tonight’s series premiere of V

• To all you True Blood fans, were you also getting confused between the nicknames for the aliens and a drink Vampire Bill would have?
• Oh Alan Tudyk, how guest starring doesn’t suit you at all. WHY CAN’T YOU BE A REGULAR ON THE SHOW?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
• I liked it well enough. The writing was surprisingly good and things started off incredibly quick. Also enjoyed the attempts at humor.
• Don’t know how I’m going to keep this show, FlashForward and Lost straight in my head come next March when all three will be on the air at the same time, especially with all of these Losties running around on other shows.
• Still not a huge fan of Elizabeth Mitchell but I do like her character on V loads more than Juliet on Lost. I like that she can be funny, strong and proactive without having to do the femme fatale thing.
• The priest is my fav. character so far. Quite good looking too.
• Nice twist with the “visitors” already being on Earth. Didn’t see it coming, though to be fair I wasn’t even thinking about it.
• Morena Baccarin as “visitor” leader Anna was pretty cool. I didn’t like her much on Firefly but she does the menacing with a smile thing really well. Love the hair!
• The whole corrupt media thing was a bit heavy handed and Scott Wolf did very little for me. Room to grow though.
• I laughed really hard at the falling Jesus about to kill the guy in the wheelchair.
• Hate the son and the stupid romance crap with all the characters really.
• I know we got to see Alan Tudyk in the previews but seriously, I want him on every episode. He’s made of awesome.

So yeah, I’ll definitely keep watching since we only get 4 episodes now. I would imagine I’d come back to it when it picks up again in March though if they move it to the same night as either FF or Lost, my DVR will have to be working overtime cause I can’t take more than one of this type of show per night.

Nope, Don’t Like It

I think it’s a horrible idea to have two co-hosts for the Oscars this year even if it is Alec Baldwin and Steve Martin.  More than one host doesn’t work. Let them prove me wrong but for right now, I don’t like it at all.

I say bring back Jon Stewart.

Or NPH!!!!

“Bazinga” – Showing “The Big Bang Theory” Some Love

ETA: Writing this post prompted me to go watch even more Johnny Galecki goodness from Roseanne on YouTube. Seriously love him on that show and this one.

It’s time to let my geek love out.

Isn’t it wonderful when you fall in love with a show so instantly that you can’t imagine why you never watched it to begin with? That’s how I feel about The Big Bang Theory (CBS, Mondays 9:30pm). I LOVE THIS SHOW! Not only does it have my imaginary TV boyfriend from the mid 90s as one of the stars but the constant geek name dropping and random silliness of the show, along with characters it is impossible not to love makes this show the one and only traditional sitcom on TV right now worth watching. A simple enough formula serves as the basis of the show: 2 highly intelligent, socially inept physicists meet their new American sweetheart neighbor and along with 2 of their other highly intelligent, socially inept friends form an ensemble cast that measures up to some of the greats.

As an anchor, and occasional contributor, to the madness, Johnny Galecki as Leonard is the center of the show and most definitely my favorite character of the 5. You all know I was and am a huge fan of Roseanne and I had a huge crush on the character of David, played by Galecki. I love that on TBBT, he gets to play a romantic lead that isn’t always being beat down by his girlfriend and he gets to stretch his range. Leonard is at the same time a huge dork and incredibly desperate not to be. By having to play the straight man to the antics of the other characters, I think Galecki gets overshadowed too much cause he’s awesome on the show.

Of course, the breakout star and everyone else’s favorite is Sheldon, played by the wonderfully crazy and Emmy nominated Jim Parsons. I now see why so many critics were calling for him to win this year. This character is nuts. His IQ is through the roof but his obsessive compulsive behavior and inability to interact or even truly care about anyone else make him pure comedy gold. You got to hand it to Parsons cause he gets the most difficult dialogue and rattles off these long rants on quantum physics, equations, and sci-fi jargon that will make your jaw drop.

The girl next door is Penny, played by the most-of-the-time-adorable Kaley Cuoco. She’s a nice complement to the geeky boys but I have enjoyed her slow descent into nerd-dom over the two seasons of the show. The romance between her and Leonard is somewhat formulaic though I like the consistency in which it is handled and that – SPOILER ALERT – the relationship seems to be picking up speed in this new 3rd season. While Galecki and Cuoco don’t have as much chemistry as I’d like them to, they still make a cute couple. I also very much enjoy the other 2 guys – Howard Wolowitz (played by Simon Helberg) and Rajesh Koothrappali (played by Kunal Nayyar).

While there are certainly things about the show I don’t like much, such as I think the jokes go for the cheap shot too much, the ensemble is so enjoyable to watch and it’s nice to watch characters on TV that are just seriously not cool people. It also makes me feel a little better about my geeky ways in that I don’t understand a good junk of the sci-fi references dropped. As long as I don’t understand everything on TBBT, I figure I can’t be all that bad.

So here’s some random thoughts on the show, my favorite moments thus far and the relationship I hope never happens:

• I love that Raj can only talk to women if he is drunk or thinks that he is drunk. It’s one of those very sitcomy characteristics but it’s always funny and he’s such an adorably pathetic little puppy with those big eyes of his.
• I like that Penny is a waitress at The Cheesecake Factory and while not a total airhead, I wouldn’t even call her an averagely sharp thinker. It seems very natural. She’s always having money problems which a person in her situation would. It’s not like on Friends where everyone had “careers” – that is not to slight that show though because I love it too.
• Favorite Sheldon moment: The Rock-Paper-Scissors-Lizard-Spock speech. That and the episode in Season One where he gets sick.
• Sheldon is a great character to love to hate. He’s so obnoxious with his set seat on the couch and all of his rules yet you somehow can’t help but want to see more of him.
• This has no importance at all but I get a huge kick out of how short Johnny Galecki is compared to everyone else on the show. “My little homunculus.”

• Loved when Sara Gilbert (Darlene from Roseanne) was on the show and am very bummed they couldn’t think of a way to fit her into the group. It was nice to have another female on the show, and a smart one at that.  Also very much enjoy Laurie Metcalf’s stint as Sheldon’s Jesus-loving mom.
• Favorite Penny moment: When she geek name-drops a Star Trek line while talking to the new hot girl in the building. Penny’s so becoming one of the boys.
• The creators of the show, Chuck Lorre and Bill Prady, have said in interviews that they have no plan when it comes to the characters, especially the Penny/Leonard relationship. This annoys me somewhat because if there is no plan for your characters, it is easy to have them do things they wouldn’t do. It is surprising to me that I like this show so much when I hate Two and a Half Men so much. I think it’s the cast though.
• I very much enjoy the traditional aspect of the show in that it is a multi-camera sitcom filmed in front of a live audience. It is the only show on TV right now that is like that I watch and it’s actually refreshing. TBBT proves that the old formula that worked for decades can still work in this heavy single-camera TV era. It’s nice to have a mix of all kinds of shows.
• Favorite Leonard moment: Hard one. I love when he imagines he’s using his time machine to go back and “rescue” Penny by carrying her down the elevator shaft. But I think the best moment was near the beginning of the series when he and Leslie Winkle (Sara Gilbert) are practicing their instruments and it turns into a not so subtle sexual metaphor. That and anytime he kisses Penny. I did mention that I’ve had a celeb crush on this guy since the 90s right?

• In absolutely NO WAY should Sheldon and Penny hook up! You hear me TBBT creators? It would be a huge mistake and it might make me stop watching the show. I love that Sheldon is asexual and to put him into any kind of relationship, let alone with Leonard’s Penny, would be cheapening that character.

So yeah, I’m loving this show. I watched both season one and two within a week and laughed all the way through. I’m very thankful it’s not on Thursday nights.

“They float, they all float”

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

Confirming my fear of clowns

It’s Halloween tomorrow and, as in every year past, I have a growing anxiety this time of year that I’ll be seeing an abundance of clowns roaming the streets of this Halloween-crazed city. This is a big reason why I don’t plan on going very far from home tomorrow.

And while I joke a lot about my fear of clowns and, sure, I’ll admit that some of it is put on, I got confirmation the other night that I am still very much afraid of clowns.

Note: I can barely even look at this picture it terrifies me so much. From perhaps the scariest scene in all of film.

Anyway – and seriously I can’t look at that picture – I had a dream nightmare the other night that tells me a) still afraid of clowns and b) I may need to stop reading Stephen King for a little bit.  I was lost in the woods (hello The Girl Who Loved Tom Gordon) and it was pretty hilly where I was. There was a river running beside where I was walking and, for some reason, I knew that the only way I could get back to civilization was to go into the river. I either had to cross it or swim down it, I can’t remember.

As I’m standing on the bank of the river trying to decide what to do, I start hearing a voice and it’s coming from underneath the water. I’m paraphrasing cause I don’t remember it exactly but it said something like “You know you have to come in here.” I started arguing with the voice, saying that I could jump across or just find my own way. “No you can’t, you have to come in. And you know what’s in here.” Without any other choice, I went into the water. As soon as I did, a clown, most resembling It from the Stephen King story, grabbed my leg, pulled me under the water and I woke up.

That was one of the most horrifying dreams I’ve had all year and I’ve been on edge ever since. Damn murderous clowns.

 

I Am The Very Picture of a Perfect Pumpkin Pirate-Ship

Guess who won the 3rd annual office pumpkin carving contest yesterday!!!!

Okay, so I don’t have a good picture of it yet – or a picture that doesn’t make me look like 300 pounds – but if you guessed my group’s AMAZING Pumpkin Pirate-Ship based on the show The Pirates of Penzance, you would be…

CORRECT!

Yes, we won the local contest yesterday with our pumpkin turned pirate ship. It’s hard to see there but we had canons out the sides and a gourd screwed to the front as the lady of the ship and even tiny pirates on the deck (which I built). The flags were carved of the same pumpkin as the ship and suspended by bamboo sticks and all of this happened in exactly one hour. To accompany our ship, we had Dark N’ Stormy drinks (rum and ginger beer) and my successfully made pumpkin scones.

As you can see, we had stiff competition this year. My former teammates in accounting did Mary Poppins and turned the pumpkin into Mary’s umbrella. Two teams did Dreamgirls and of course the adorable The Lion King pumpkin with our Sponsorship Director’s newborn as baby Simba.

What got us the win was our presentation which I will try humbly to say was all me. For those of you familiar with The Pirates of Penzance, you’ll remember the most famous song from the Gilbert & Sullivan operetta is “I am the very model of a modern Major General.” Well, I took that song and countless work hours and changed the words – as most of you know I enjoy doing – to fit our pumpkin. The result was “I am the very picture of a perfect pumpkin Pirate-Ship.” I wrote out the entire song, being careful to use the same rhythms as the original. What I hadn’t been counting on was my team making me read the song out loud along to an instrumental version of the song to everyone in our office! If you don’t know, that song goes wicked fast and I didn’t practice it hardly at all! But I did it and people loved it and it got us the win.

I’ll post more pictures of our pirate ship when I get them from my team. It’s really incredible. By winning the local office contest, we get a free lunch anywhere in the city. The national competition will be decided by Monday. If we win that, we get a vacation day!

Fingers crossed!

“I’m where I want to be and who I want to be and doing what I always said I would”

Really quick thoughts, I literally only have a few seconds:

• As can be observed by my subject line, I’m still wickedly obsessed with Chess In Concert. I just got the DVD – thank you free B&N gift card! – and have watched a bit. LOVE IT!
• I hate the red line. I hate it, I hate it, I hate it! Got stuck this morning on a disabled train outside Porter Square. Combing the time sitting on the train and standing on the platform, I was there for about an hour. Took me 2.5 hours to get to work this morning. Bah! It was scary too cause the train I was on had to be pushed into the station by another train. Thank God it wasn’t too crowded on that train cause I was already feeling claustrophobic. 5 trains went by at Porter before I could get on. Bad morning.
• Pumpkin contest is tomorrow meaning all of my spare time is being taken up by it. Lots still to do. Unfortunately I’m also incredibly busy at work as is the rest of my team.  How we’ll pull this off tomorrow I’m very anxious to see. I’ll do a bigger, in detail post about it tomorrow.
• Watched all of The Big Bang Theory Season One over the weekend and started Season Two last night. Forgive for saying it but at the moment I’m enjoying it much more than How I Met Your Mother. I’m so fickle. Expect a much larger post about this hilarious show in the coming days.
• Was sick early in the week, felt better last night and only okay today. Don’t have time to dwell on it. I have one more sick day for the rest of the year. That will be interesting as I always get sick this time of year and everyone at the office is already sick.
• Still don’t have my glasses. Called them today – two weeks after ordering them! – and they said they should be in in the next couple of days. Yeah right. I ended up taping my busted glasses so at least I can see but I look even geekier than before.
• I have no idea what is going on in the world. I’ve been so focused on being sick, getting my work done and working on this pumpkin that I’m not sure I even remember what day it is. In times like these, I remind myself that over the summer I was bored to tears and would’ve killed for this much to do.

Yep, that’s it. I’ve run out of time. I’m not even going to spell check this.