The Story of Tad the Bear and his tragic obsession with Stephen Colbert. Editor’s Note: Tad the Bear is not named after Tad the Building Manager from The Colbert Report. Tad is actually about 13 years old. And if you want to know why I have these pictures, all you need to do is ask. There’s a simple reason.
Tad the Bear went out and bought the Stephen Colbert book I Am America (And So Can You!)
Excited, Tad started to read the book
Enjoying the book, Tad bought the audiobook and listened to it on my IPod. You’re welcome, Tad.
But Tad forgot. Stephen hates bears.
Depressed, Tad ate Stephen’s ice cream, Americone Dream. He ate a lot.
And then, Tad finished my bottle of whiskey and another pint of Americone Dream. “Why, Stephen? Why have you forsaken me?”
The shame of being a godless killing machine has made my bear an alcy.
Drunk and bursting with ice cream, Tad the Bear flipped out and decided to eat Stephen’s book, ironically fulfilling Stephen’s fear of bears.
And then, Tad died…
That’s awesome.
Tad thanks you.
[...] know this is posted in the Tad Story down below, but just disregard the book and the ice cream for a moment. Tad is looking at the camera [...]
Don’t let Tad be dead. I admire Tad’s spunk in reading the book in the face of such diversity. He’s been around a lot longer than SColbear. Have him switch to JStewart instead! Chin up, young bear.
as a minor footnote–Nicki you’re crazed,
everyone knows ice cream and alcohol don’t mix!
Hahaha, I’ve been outed. Yes, I am crazed. And thanks for spelling my name right. I have this crazed mother who decided to spell my name N-I-C-K-I and I’ve had to live with people spelling it wrong my whole life. I don’t know what she was thinking…wink, wink.
Even though Tad was hurt and betrayed by Mr. Colbert, I’m afraid he could never switch to Jon Stewart. Besides, Cuddles is the Stewart fan, not Tad.