The following is a fictional episode of one of my favorite shows, Strangers with Candy. It is about the struggle fans of the New England Patriots have had to deal with all season. Go Pats!
Jellineck gathered courage to speak.
“And I too have something to say. As Jerri has outed herself to you all, so shall I! I am a Patriots fan! I have been a Patriots fan many times. Most recently, I have been a fan with Chuck Noblet, occasionally many times in one night and in many different ways. We even have a playbook. I’m a Pats fan and proud of it! What about you, Chuck? Chuck?”
The door to the gymnasium slams shut. Jellineck sees the unmistakable black floor marks of cowboy boots.
“Chuck flees again,” Jellineck moans. The crowd continues to go wild as Geoffrey Jellineck slowly comes down from the podium.
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Super Bowl Sunday at Orlando’s house. Tammy Littlenut and Jerri have joined Orlando to watch the big game.
“Hey Brady, nice package!” Jerri is clearly enjoying herself.
“Jerri, please stop licking the TV screen. My mom will get angry.”
”I can’t help it, Orlando. This channel is picking up some amazing shots of #12. Orlando, thanks for inviting me. I’ve learned that it is wrong to go back on your friends just because everyone else is telling you what your friends are telling you is wrong. From now on, I’ll follow anything you say.”
“Jerri, please stop licking the TV.”
”Mmm, butt shots.”
The End.
Epilogue:
The Patriots went on to win that Super Bowl and it was all thanks to Jerri Blank and her strength to be different in a crowd.
Well, actually it was due to the awesomeness that is the New England Patriots. But it’s a good story anyway.
Epilogue II:
Except that the Patriots didn’t win Super Bowl XLII, causing all of New England to go into a deep, deep depression. Jerri Blank’s response was inappropriate at best:
“17-14! That’s Hi-LAR-ious!”
