This just sucks. The whole thing sucks. I’m perfectly fine being on my own. I can entertain myself, I like having alone time and I have a group of great friends to have fun with. I don’t need some guy to “complete” me. So why the hell can’t I get over this person? WHY?!!!!

Why can’t he just be someone that is pleasant to work with instead of being that person who I think about constantly and stress over? I freakin’ change my morning route to Dunkin Donuts to avoid/run into this person! That’s not me! And this whole thing is so ridiculous anyway. As I discussed last night with two of you, none of this makes any difference. Sure, when I’m around him I have feelings that I’ve never had with anyone else but that doesn’t mean he’s having them back! Maybe he’s prone to touching people when he talks to them. Maybe he has to whisper in my ear when telling me something inside the theater cause he’s so tall he can’t say anything otherwise. Maybe he just happened to be in there during my favorite song of the show, forever now ruining it for me. Maybe he has to wear his recently acquired glasses to be able to read. None of that has anything to do with me. Maybe he is – so far – exactly what I’d look for in a partner but that doesn’t mean squat. He could be gay. He could (and probably does as one of you correctly pointed out last night) think that I’m gay as most people see the short hair and the interest in sports as conforming to that stereotype. And if he isn’t, what are the chances someone like that wouldn’t have a girlfriend already? Oh yeah, a straight guy that’s really into theater and Lost and is single. Sure, cause that happens.

Why can’t I tell my brain to let this go? It’s not going to amount to anything and I’m to chicken to ever try making any kind of move on it. I should just focus on my own crap, try to get my own life going somewhere and forget all about this person. I very much hate when I get like this. It’s embarrassing and silly and distracting. As I said before, for all of my accomplishments and things I’ve done, socially I’m a shy grade-schooler that has the self-confidence of a worm.

Forgive me for ranting. It’s 9:30 on a Sunday and I’ve had three cups of strong coffee already because I couldn’t sleep. You know why I couldn’t sleep? I’ll give you three effing guesses.

I’m probably in the minority on this one but last night’s “V” was a total snoozefest. I’m so glad I watched my DVR recording of it so I could fast forward cause I could not keep my attention on the show at all. I’ll give it the next two episodes and if it doesn’t improve, I’m not coming back to it in March. The show isn’t offering us anything new. Elizabeth Mitchell is doing her same tough Juliet routine that I didn’t like much on a show I was invested in let alone a new one. And yes, we get it. The Vs are sinister and up to no good. There’s a rebellion, there are traitors on both sides. None of this is even remotely exciting because we’ve all seen this on multiple other shows. With a slight exception to the priest – and even he was boring last night – there is no character on the show that I even enjoy watching or that is more than one-dimensional.

Perhaps I just wasn’t in the mood to watch it? Or maybe I’m still mad that they offed Alan Tudyk.

The following contains comments on the latest episodes of: The Office, 30 Rock, FlashForward, The Vampire Diaries, Project Runway,  How I Met Your Mother and The Big Bang Theory. I have not watched Mad Men so don’t tell me anything.

The Office

Continuing to enjoy this season. Loved having dick Michael back. Breaking up with a coworker’s mom on her birthday in front of said coworker and then having to drive everyone back was classic dick Michael. I thought they handled the punch really well. I was concerned that they’d shy away from it but Michael had that coming and it was still very realistic that Pam didn’t feel good about it after. How does Steve Carell not have an Emmy yet? And I very much enjoyed the Dwight/Andy favor-off and that Dwight is still trying to bring Jim down. Very true to his character.

30 Rock

Best episode of the season and that’s including the Will Arnett episode (so you know I really liked this one). Jack on the subway was hysterical as was the whole audition story, including the much talked about Susan Boyle gag. I’ve heard from some that this season has a different feel or tone to it and maybe that’s why it is keeping my interest. It’s still the show on after The Office for me but  it is an enjoyable one and since nothing conflicts with it…

Project Runway

Wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong. The two people who got kicked off were the two people I liked the most throughout the entire season. I don’t want any of the remaining three to win and I’m not even sure I’m going to watch.

FlashForward

Finally the stakes are raised on this show! Despite having little to non of Charlie Simon, this was an excellent episode that took everything we thought was true about the concept of the flashforwards and threw it off the side of a building. Literally. The dude sacrificed himself so that others could have a different flashforward than the sucky ones they were first dealt. Is this really going to change the future? And what’s with that daughter showing up? And why haven’t we seen Joseph Fiennes shirtless more? I may need a bigger post about this one.

The Vampire Diaries

I finally have caught up with this show after being 5 episodes behind and I gotta say that I absolutely love it! It’s a better vampire story than Twilight, a better constructed story than True Blood and darker than Buffy. No I’m not saying it’s better than Buffy but it certainly is as entertaining, made even more so by the truly gorgeous Stefan and Damon. The two brothers have great chemistry and Damon pretty much steals every scene he’s in. What I love is that he is a bad-ass vampire. Spike was badass but if you think about it, you never really saw him going around and killing a whole lot. Damon is just ruthless and does it with a smirk. It makes me want to read the original books though I know the show is wildly different. Hey Twilight movies, you know you can change the crap parts of the books right?

How I Met Your Mother

Well, that didn’t last long. I know I had said that I wasn’t digging Barney and Robin and I will admit that I was a teeny bit spoiled as I had read that the couple would break up this season but I absolutely was not expecting it to happen so soon. The blame on this one goes to the writers. They screwed this relationship and didn’t do anything to explore the awesomeness that could have been Barney and Robin. That said, at least we get the old Barney back. I loved the scene in the station wagon with Marshall complaining about the van, Ted complaining about money and both getting on Lily’s case for substituting a robot for a storm trooper (even I know they aren’t the same). I feel like this season, while enjoyable, doesn’t have much aim or a visible goal to it. The end with Barney wanting to find tape of Robin’s variety show is intriguing and man I’m hoping they continue with that.

The Big Bang Theory

Just when I had started to think that this hilarious show was lacking a bit in Season 3 we get one of the funniest episodes of the whole series. You all know I’m a Leonard fan and while I think he can do better than Penny, I don’t want to see them break up, especially on the same night that Barney and Robin break up. You dodged a bullet here CBS. But the fighting was hilarious on all sides. I was impressed that the fighting was very loud and very passionate with both Leonard and Penny having good points and shallow points. Love that Sheldon was the little kid caught in the middle of his parents’ fighting and his weak attempts to try and reunite Leonard and Penny were great, especially the scene at Penny’s restaurant. Raj and Howard fighting was really cute (they are SO a couple) and I always enjoy Howard’s mother. Stuart from the comic book store is growing on me and I hope we get to see more of him this season. Above all, I’m so glad that Penny and Leonard made up and the end scene with them in bed made the whole thing end on a high note. More episodes with the whole gang together please!

ETA: I’m so sick and tired of every Big Bang thing I read being all about how Sheldon is great and how Leonard is an ass. I love Sheldon, Jim Parsons is hilarious, but I don’t think you have to hate one to love the other. The show isn’t called Sheldon… It’s nice to have small problems like these. I think the answer is to just stop reading about shows I like, especially when I know my opinion differs so much with others. Or I could just get a life.

-

So I have three Mad Men’s to watch plus all the new shows on this week, including the return of Glee!!! Time to watch it all, especially with my return to exercising? No way.

Disclaimer: the following may seem like it’s coming from a 13-year-old cause apparently that’s the age level of my social development.

I suck, I suck, I suck, I suck!!!

I’m an intelligent, educated person with varied interests and a moderate sense of humor. I can hold good conversations and enjoy activities both little and small. And while I’m not Gisele I’m not the Elephant Man either. There is absolutely no reason why I shouldn’t have the confidence to go up to someone I’m attracted to and at least fucking say “hello.”

In the ongoing pathetic saga of my infatuation with that guy I have had the misfortune to only work with 3 TIMES(!), this week has been filled with turmoil and crap. Wednesday. Wednesday was the day I was supposed to run into him after not having seen him since May. The plan was to strike up a brief conversation and I had even gone armed with ammo from the stories that came out of Tuesday night’s fiasco at the theater which I know he was there for. And I looked good (for me) on Wednesday. I actually looked like a girl. I wore my painful shoes and all of that. And was he even there? NO!

So fine, I can live with that. I need to get over this whole thing anyway. A) he’s probably gay and B) if he isn’t gay, he’s probably dating one of the other 6 girls from the theater that he works with way more than me. Yes, I do think in silly sitcom cliches. You know, never mind that he’s one of the few people I’ve met as an adult that I felt an instant connection to. Never mind that he’s basically my exact type except that he doesn’t wear glasses and he’s going bald (it’s like really bad). And of course in my warped mind I feel like if we only had the chance to work together more we could at least turn out to be good friends.

Back to the story.

Because I was dressed up on Wednesday, the past two days I haven’t put a lot of effort in to my wardrobe as my office doesn’t care. I’ve been all jeans and messy hair. This morning, I decide to go one stop past my normal exit on the red line to do a slightly shorter walk to the office as I’m in the middle of a wonderful book, I wanted the extra 2 minutes to read. Get out, go to Dunkin Donuts and guess who is there! He’s in the “Beverage Only” line and I have to get a bagel with my coffee so I get in the other line. He doesn’t have his iPod on or anything. I eventually end up standing right behind him.  AND DO I SAY ANYTHING?

Of course I don’t. I actually go out of my way to be unobservant and blend into the background. I’m the most socially inept person I’ve ever met – though I haven’t met many people because I’m so effing socially inept. I used to think that I’m just a shy person but now I think there is more to it than that. And because of this, I’m going to grow into an old spinster that knows a lot about TV shows and vampires and has absolutely nothing to show for any kind of companionship…EVER!

God, in reading this over I come off as so pathetic and such a big loser. Somewhere in my growing up, the whole part about conversing with the opposite sex completely passed me by. Was it because a tragedy of huge proportions happened right as I was becoming a teenager? Is it because I have daddy issues?

Or is it because I just plain SUCK! Seriously, why are some of you even friends with me. I obviously have no business being out in society.

End rant. Happy Friday.

Do NOT misunderstand me. I am a New York Mets fan. Period.

But since my team didn’t do so well this year (understatement of the decade), I had to make a choice: root for someone in the MLB postseason or stop caring about baseball until next year. As I’m still trying to learn as much as I can about the game, I went with option #1 which meant…rooting for the New York Yankees.

I have my reasons.

1. As much as I don’t like the Yankees, being the snobs from the same town as the Mets, I really hate the Red Sox and it now goes so far beyond just being annoyed at T traffic during the season. In sports, you don’t have to have rational explanations for rooting for or against a team. I knew it would annoy Red Sox fans here if the Yankees won.
2. And as much as I don’t like the Yankees with all their A-Rod crap, come on. I was not going to root for the Philadelphia Phillies! They are in the Mets division, won last year, and are just a bunch of punks that complain about the game, their opponents and even their own season. See comments made by a certain Phillies pitcher about wanting his season to be over. If they won two years in a row, they’d be just completely insufferable next year.

So yeah, World Series over. 2009 season done and in the books. It is SO time to move on. The Mets can continue to get healthy, maybe add (perhaps subtract) a few things and a year from now, this post will be all about the other New York baseball team that won the World Series.

Sleep tight David Wright.

Wednesday thoughts:

• Can you be obsessed with a CD less than 24 hours after getting it? The Glee soundtrack is so awesome it makes me want to cry to have to wait until next Wednesday for a new episode. I added to the album by getting the “It’s My Life”/”My Confessions” mashup and the “Halo”/”Walking on Sunshine” mashup on iTunes. I wish they had put even more of the songs on the CD like the Thong Song and I Could’ve Danced All Night or even Leaving on a Jet Plane (or whatever that song is called. Not enough M. Morrisson goodness.
• Fall in New England is especially brilliant this year. There is a tree on Mass Ave in Arlington that is bright blood red. When the sun hits it, you need sunglasses. Boston is a very pretty place right now.
• Going to see Fiddler on the Roof tonight at the Opera House with friend of blog Dori. Should be fun. I’ve only ever seen the movie but I really enjoyed that. Downside is that the show is close to 3 hours long. Trying not to think about that part.
• How I Met Your Mother was pretty funny on Monday, though even I was getting a bit sick watching cutesy Barney and Robin. I’m glad they are giving Marshall and Lily more to do this year.
• The Big Bang Theory: football and geeks? This show gets more and more perfect with every episode. Loved the jersey cocktail dress on Leonard and that Sheldon knows about football. I also very much appreciated that Leonard was taking notes on the sport by watching New England. Oh and the Battlestar toast was awesome.
• Am behind on every other show and it’s very sad. I am starting to catch up on Vampire Diaries. I forgot how much I enjoy this show and it’s just getting better and better. Don’t spoil me, I still have like 4 to watch.
• Speaking of vampires, I’m reading The Historian by Elizabeth Kostova. I’m only 150 pages in but so far it’s about all these historians trying to find the truth about the Dracula legend. Very enjoyable and well written, especially if you are interested in historical fiction. It’s also nice after reading and watching so many benign vampire stories to read one that is actually frightening and makes the vampires actually evil instead of romantic and misunderstood…so far anyway. I may have to read Bram Stoker’s Dracula after this. I don’t think I even know that story.
• Work has been so crazy busy with close and large projects. It feels good to have a lot to do but so far this week I’ve been working above my normal hours which is sad because I do that overtime in the morning when no one sees it and I don’t get paid for it so other than having extra time to do my work, I’m getting no credit for it. Maybe I should casually let it slip.
• I really need to stop my imagination going wild. It’s gonna get me into trouble, sooner than you may think.
• Saw graffiti on the T this morning: “Thank God for California’s Prop 8. Next MA.” Also saw that Maine voters reversed the gay marriage law up there. What else can I even say about this?
• 2 and a half weeks until Thanksgiving – well my Thanksgiving break anyway. I’m so mixed about it. I can’t wait to have a week off of work and I’m excited to see my father and stepmother but I’m also, uh, not. Oh well.
• 2 straight weeks I’ve been brushing and flossing morning and night like a pro. I’ve been really good about it since my dentist yelled at me. This better make a noticeable difference next time he sees me cause it’s taking up a lot more time.

Ok, I suppose I should get started on work. Have a good one!

Last thought. This picture makes me really happy. Two of my TV boyfriends all gussied up. Ignore the girl.

Very quick thoughts after tonight’s series premiere of V

• To all you True Blood fans, were you also getting confused between the nicknames for the aliens and a drink Vampire Bill would have?
• Oh Alan Tudyk, how guest starring doesn’t suit you at all. WHY CAN’T YOU BE A REGULAR ON THE SHOW?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
• I liked it well enough. The writing was surprisingly good and things started off incredibly quick. Also enjoyed the attempts at humor.
• Don’t know how I’m going to keep this show, FlashForward and Lost straight in my head come next March when all three will be on the air at the same time, especially with all of these Losties running around on other shows.
• Still not a huge fan of Elizabeth Mitchell but I do like her character on V loads more than Juliet on Lost. I like that she can be funny, strong and proactive without having to do the femme fatale thing.
• The priest is my fav. character so far. Quite good looking too.
• Nice twist with the “visitors” already being on Earth. Didn’t see it coming, though to be fair I wasn’t even thinking about it.
• Morena Baccarin as “visitor” leader Anna was pretty cool. I didn’t like her much on Firefly but she does the menacing with a smile thing really well. Love the hair!
• The whole corrupt media thing was a bit heavy handed and Scott Wolf did very little for me. Room to grow though.
• I laughed really hard at the falling Jesus about to kill the guy in the wheelchair.
• Hate the son and the stupid romance crap with all the characters really.
• I know we got to see Alan Tudyk in the previews but seriously, I want him on every episode. He’s made of awesome.

So yeah, I’ll definitely keep watching since we only get 4 episodes now. I would imagine I’d come back to it when it picks up again in March though if they move it to the same night as either FF or Lost, my DVR will have to be working overtime cause I can’t take more than one of this type of show per night.

I think it’s a horrible idea to have two co-hosts for the Oscars this year even if it is Alec Baldwin and Steve Martin.  More than one host doesn’t work. Let them prove me wrong but for right now, I don’t like it at all.

I say bring back Jon Stewart.

Or NPH!!!!

ETA: Writing this post prompted me to go watch even more Johnny Galecki goodness from Roseanne on YouTube. Seriously love him on that show and this one.

It’s time to let my geek love out.

Isn’t it wonderful when you fall in love with a show so instantly that you can’t imagine why you never watched it to begin with? That’s how I feel about The Big Bang Theory (CBS, Mondays 9:30pm). I LOVE THIS SHOW! Not only does it have my imaginary TV boyfriend from the mid 90s as one of the stars but the constant geek name dropping and random silliness of the show, along with characters it is impossible not to love makes this show the one and only traditional sitcom on TV right now worth watching. A simple enough formula serves as the basis of the show: 2 highly intelligent, socially inept physicists meet their new American sweetheart neighbor and along with 2 of their other highly intelligent, socially inept friends form an ensemble cast that measures up to some of the greats.

As an anchor, and occasional contributor, to the madness, Johnny Galecki as Leonard is the center of the show and most definitely my favorite character of the 5. You all know I was and am a huge fan of Roseanne and I had a huge crush on the character of David, played by Galecki. I love that on TBBT, he gets to play a romantic lead that isn’t always being beat down by his girlfriend and he gets to stretch his range. Leonard is at the same time a huge dork and incredibly desperate not to be. By having to play the straight man to the antics of the other characters, I think Galecki gets overshadowed too much cause he’s awesome on the show.

Of course, the breakout star and everyone else’s favorite is Sheldon, played by the wonderfully crazy and Emmy nominated Jim Parsons. I now see why so many critics were calling for him to win this year. This character is nuts. His IQ is through the roof but his obsessive compulsive behavior and inability to interact or even truly care about anyone else make him pure comedy gold. You got to hand it to Parsons cause he gets the most difficult dialogue and rattles off these long rants on quantum physics, equations, and sci-fi jargon that will make your jaw drop.

The girl next door is Penny, played by the most-of-the-time-adorable Kaley Cuoco. She’s a nice complement to the geeky boys but I have enjoyed her slow descent into nerd-dom over the two seasons of the show. The romance between her and Leonard is somewhat formulaic though I like the consistency in which it is handled and that – SPOILER ALERT – the relationship seems to be picking up speed in this new 3rd season. While Galecki and Cuoco don’t have as much chemistry as I’d like them to, they still make a cute couple. I also very much enjoy the other 2 guys – Howard Wolowitz (played by Simon Helberg) and Rajesh Koothrappali (played by Kunal Nayyar).

While there are certainly things about the show I don’t like much, such as I think the jokes go for the cheap shot too much, the ensemble is so enjoyable to watch and it’s nice to watch characters on TV that are just seriously not cool people. It also makes me feel a little better about my geeky ways in that I don’t understand a good junk of the sci-fi references dropped. As long as I don’t understand everything on TBBT, I figure I can’t be all that bad.

So here’s some random thoughts on the show, my favorite moments thus far and the relationship I hope never happens:

• I love that Raj can only talk to women if he is drunk or thinks that he is drunk. It’s one of those very sitcomy characteristics but it’s always funny and he’s such an adorably pathetic little puppy with those big eyes of his.
• I like that Penny is a waitress at The Cheesecake Factory and while not a total airhead, I wouldn’t even call her an averagely sharp thinker. It seems very natural. She’s always having money problems which a person in her situation would. It’s not like on Friends where everyone had “careers” – that is not to slight that show though because I love it too.
• Favorite Sheldon moment: The Rock-Paper-Scissors-Lizard-Spock speech. That and the episode in Season One where he gets sick.
• Sheldon is a great character to love to hate. He’s so obnoxious with his set seat on the couch and all of his rules yet you somehow can’t help but want to see more of him.
• This has no importance at all but I get a huge kick out of how short Johnny Galecki is compared to everyone else on the show. “My little homunculus.”

• Loved when Sara Gilbert (Darlene from Roseanne) was on the show and am very bummed they couldn’t think of a way to fit her into the group. It was nice to have another female on the show, and a smart one at that.  Also very much enjoy Laurie Metcalf’s stint as Sheldon’s Jesus-loving mom.
• Favorite Penny moment: When she geek name-drops a Star Trek line while talking to the new hot girl in the building. Penny’s so becoming one of the boys.
• The creators of the show, Chuck Lorre and Bill Prady, have said in interviews that they have no plan when it comes to the characters, especially the Penny/Leonard relationship. This annoys me somewhat because if there is no plan for your characters, it is easy to have them do things they wouldn’t do. It is surprising to me that I like this show so much when I hate Two and a Half Men so much. I think it’s the cast though.
• I very much enjoy the traditional aspect of the show in that it is a multi-camera sitcom filmed in front of a live audience. It is the only show on TV right now that is like that I watch and it’s actually refreshing. TBBT proves that the old formula that worked for decades can still work in this heavy single-camera TV era. It’s nice to have a mix of all kinds of shows.
• Favorite Leonard moment: Hard one. I love when he imagines he’s using his time machine to go back and “rescue” Penny by carrying her down the elevator shaft. But I think the best moment was near the beginning of the series when he and Leslie Winkle (Sara Gilbert) are practicing their instruments and it turns into a not so subtle sexual metaphor. That and anytime he kisses Penny. I did mention that I’ve had a celeb crush on this guy since the 90s right?

• In absolutely NO WAY should Sheldon and Penny hook up! You hear me TBBT creators? It would be a huge mistake and it might make me stop watching the show. I love that Sheldon is asexual and to put him into any kind of relationship, let alone with Leonard’s Penny, would be cheapening that character.

So yeah, I’m loving this show. I watched both season one and two within a week and laughed all the way through. I’m very thankful it’s not on Thursday nights.

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!